If I am a film critic, I will only need three words to describe every Michael Bay movie:
It was awesome
Before you label me a Bay fanboy, let me be clear that this three words does not describe the quality of his films. It is like a scientific term, like how humans are called Homo Sapiens and salt is called Sodium Chloride. A Bay film? It was awesome.
It was awesome because they are loud, they have MANY explosions (in slow motion, no less), they have girls in sex-ed out outfits, they feature top of the line US military hardware and they are all brainless fun.
They are all awesome because Michael Bay decreed it to be awesome.
Anyway, If you look close enough, you may observe some snippets of wisdom underneath all those mindless awesomeness in Transformers 2 :
- Two years is enough for anyone to forget everything. For example, a giant robot free-for-all in a populated city.
- In China, you can cover up any secrets with a "gas leak". Including A huge rampaging robot tearing down the streets in public.
- If a hot, scantily clad girl is inexplicably attracted to a nerd and smells like diesel, she's a decepticon.
- Old alien robots must ALWAYS speak cryptically even when they can give clear directions. Clues like "tip of the dagger" and "the three kings" are common replacements for "Petra, Jordan".
- The US military can deploy tanks, marines, jet fighters and helicopters in a middle east country at a moment's notice, while the local military can only send two helicopters (and be shot down as soon as they arrive)
- True warriors must always sacrifice themselves to hide the key to a world-destroying weapon, instead of destroying the weapon itself.
- When you plan to kill a kid, always kidnap his parents and bring him to the site where you plan to kill him, for no apparent reason.
- If you claim to be an agent for a non-descript government agency, even Navy admirals will listen to you.
- Small decepticons make great pets.
- Giant alien robots have balls. literally.
So there. Don't forget to catch this awesome 2.5 hour US army recruitment video in the cinemas now!